The Mighty Kuronekosama
by O fortuna
Summary: A dismal Christmas day turns into a load of odd humor when a big-headed black cat finds his way into one of Emiri's presents. Reviews are appreciated! PS: I do not own Trigun's kuroneko, but I'm willing to put together an angry band of rebels to get 'im!
1. Close Encounters of the Kitty Kind

The Mighty Kuroneko-sama  
  
Close Encounters of the Kitty Kind  
  
"I never knew eggs could get so.slimy."  
  
Suddenly everyone at the long wooden table became silent. The blonde- haired girl watching a piece of scrambled eggs loll off her fork looked up, a wide grin consuming her face. A sweat drop consumes her head respectively.  
  
"Yummy." she remarked, stuffing the egg into her mouth, quickly picking up her orange juice with the other hand to be there right away with something that would get rid of the.slime. Yes, this had been one of the many comments she had voiced openly during her holiday vacation at her aunt's house. It was Christmas, so what was with all the bad food? Break out the donuts already.  
  
"Are you just going to sit there playing with that egg, Emiri?" the girl's mother asked, face drawn up as if she had just eaten a load of the eggs herself. Yes, they sat there on the table, all slimy in their glory. Emiri had been stupid, and had taken the bate. In fact, she was the only one who had tasted the scrambled eggs. Of course, her cousin was attempting to make her four-year-old eat them, but the kid even had the sense to stay away from what was probably a science experiment gone wrong. She gave her mother a hurt look.  
  
"Fine Mom.I'll eat them." A little voice in her head shouted, maybe when they dry out a little! The girl snorted with laughter, but quickly recovered herself by stuffing more of the eggs into her mouth. The grandfather clock in the other room sent out three long rings, and Emiri's aunt took a deep breath.  
  
"Help me with these dishes." She spat out at Emiri's younger cousin. Of course, Emiri was much younger than they were. All of them. She gave a side-glance to her old great aunt drooling in a chair at the table. Her eyebrow twitched for a second.  
  
"Only but a blossoming girl of fifteen!" she exclaims under her breath, batting her eyes at no one in particular. Her uncle starts choking for a couple seconds. She looked over everyone sitting at the table. Let's see, there was her older cousin and her four-year-old daughter. Emiri hated little children. There was her younger cousin, a very unique individual. Emiri watched as this cousin washed dishes with an annoyed look on her face. There was her mother.her aunt.her uncle.her great aunt. Emily scratched her head and looked at the clock. It was almost time to pass out the presents. Maybe this would clear her of her dismal day.  
  
And soon enough, just as the last dish had been put away, everyone crowded into the living room, positioning themselves around a tree splayed with luxurious looking presents with bows and wrapping paper, and.other things. Emiri sat down next to the tree, and let out a great sigh. What would it be this year? More Tupperware containers? A candy cane or two? Or maybe.She snickers. Maybe some donuts, all wrapped up in a little holiday tin.  
  
She almost missed her aunt giving the cue to pass out the gifts. 


	2. Close Encounters of the Kitty Kind part ...

The Mighty Kuroneko-sama  
  
Close Encounters of the Kitty Kind (part II)  
  
There were only three presents left. Emiri looked at the gifts that had recently piled up in front of her relatives. There was the occasional cheese fondue set, the random coloring book, and the large assortment of candy. Oh, and a new Tupperware set that Emiri could now proudly call her own. This time with seal-proof lids! Emiri felt like going into the bathroom and sticking her head in the toilet.  
  
"Would you get that last present, Emiri?" said her mother, with that same look on her face, as if she had eaten too many of the eggs.  
  
"Course mum." The blonde responded, a happy grin pasted over her perturbed face. Crawling under the tree, she reached for the lumpy and poorly wrapped gift, possibly the last piece to her matching Tupperware set. "Okay, this one goes to." She looked down at the label, and with a smirk, announces, "Me!"  
  
How strange, though. This present wasn't from Santa, it was from. "Mom, who's Wolfwood?"  
  
"Wolfwood? I don't know any Wolfwood, why do you ask?" Her mother gave her the hairy eyeball. Emiri sighed.  
  
"Nevermind." She rips into the red paper, feeling the tension build up. Was it a sandwich container? A juice box holder? Wait, no. Could it be, a FRESHNESS PRESERVER 3000?! But it was none of these three things. Two huge green eyes stared up at her.  
  
"Nyao."  
  
"What the hell is this!" Emiri exclaimed, tossing the black cat into the Christmas tree branches (Nyaooo! *crash*)  
  
"EMIRI! Watch your language!" her mother spits, giving the girl a stern look.  
  
"But, but, it was- with big green- and, and." She just couldn't find words to describe what the heck had popped its little head out of the wrapping paper. She looked around nervously, locking gazes with everyone else in the room. Even her great aunt had stopped drooling. "I'm sorry" she says, but it comes out with a squeak. What was that thing? After everyone went back to whatever it was that they were doing, Emiri took the initiative to investigate on her own. On her hands and knees she began to crawl under the Christmas tree, cautious, and ready to wring the neck of any unsuspected visitor.  
  
But nothing was to be found. Maybe she just imagined the whole thing. But that seemed inconceivable. Positively, absolutely inconceivable. There had to have been something in that wrapping paper. She looked back over at the scene of the crime, where some crumpled red paper still laid. It was then that she noticed the yellow and wrinkled piece of paper that must have been inside the present. Picking it up, she reads:  
  
Don't let him get back, and whatever you do, make sure you don't feed him scrambled eggs. Signed, Wolfwood  
  
_-_-_-_-_-_-NOTE FROM THE WRITER-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
Yes, I should be doing homework right now, anyway, please send me some spiffy reviews for this odd work of mine. Love and Peace everyone, Love and Peace. Arigato! Kuroneko-sama: Nyao! 


End file.
